Everybody Hurts

Hello everyone! :D How are you all doing? LOL, nothing changed with my usual blog post introduction, eh? I'll try to think of a new greeting this summer. Well, we aren't actually free from school yet because we still have regular classes tomorrow and the last exam, then I still have accomplishment reports and minutes of the meetings to make so I would still be very busy. I promised myself that I will do all of those after tomorrow, so I had everything settled, and there's no need to worry, I think? :p

We're going to have our last exam tomorrow which is Math, and I will study after writing this blog post and checking for the last time some Facebook updates.

Have you wondered that whenever I write a blog post, I usually don't say explicitly the meaning of the title of it? Well, I guess you wanna know, so I'll tell you about it.

The title of this blog post is the title of the song that I love listening to recently. It's Everybody Hurts by Avril Lavigne. Here's the lyric video if you wanna listen to it as well and sing along with it. :)

This song would really be related to my life right now because I am indeed expecting to be hurt and now I know that it's okay. Why am I expecting to be hurt? It would be because I'm expecting something bad tomorrow regarding the honor ranking. Well, that's what I always do, expecting something bad, or not expecting at all, so that when it turns out good, I'll be overjoyed. In other words, I believe in the saying that we should expect nothing at all so that we wouldn't experience great disappointment if ever the expectation we made wasn't met.

I am really nervous with the honor ranking. I'm not sure what to expect! And, I am also doing my best to expect nothing tomorrow. LOL. Lord, please help! :'( I pray to You every night for that honor rank I've been wishing for! Please do answer Yes! I trust in You!

Anyway, we had our Retreat last Friday and Saturday, and I realized a lot of things. What are those? I realized that I am very blessed, and that I have a lot of things to be thankful for. Then I also realized how great God can be. We also cherished our high school moments and learned the importance of the people we love as they are part of our lives. It was such a relief as well that I have thanked most of my classmates and batch mates for all that they've done to me, apologized to them as well, and forgiven those who have done me wrong. One of the most memorable encounter I had during that time was with my on-and-off crush. He smiled when I thanked him for .. err .. everything and apologized to him. waaahh. Well, it's good that he knew he has done wrong to me since he also apologized to me. LOL. Why is he an on-and-off to me? It's a long story. haha. Going back, we also had heart-to-heart talks with our parents, and I learned something good about myself and how I was a blessing to the family. It was indeed touching.

So, the Retreat was indeed a worthwhile experience, and I hope to have another of it soon! :)

Going back to my dilemma about my honor rank, I just can't help but think about it over and over again. It's just so hard for me to think that what if I won't reach my goal? I don't want to cry and cry or hold back my tears tomorrow just because I won't be able to achieve what I want, so I guess I should ask God for His guidance and trust Him with all my might that he would give me what I want. I won't even be sure that I'll be able to sleep well later since I can't stop thinking about it. 

Luck has been very mean to me lately, like it has given me a performance in school that didn't satisfy me, even though I studied hard for the lessons, or that I knew I should get a big score on it because I know that I knew all about it. I don't know why life has been cruel to me ever since November. I also don't know why of all the grading periods that I could possibly do bad in, WHY 3RD GRADING AND 4TH GRADING? I feel like in hell right now thinking about it. To tell you the truth, I promised myself that I will do better in those grading periods, but why is this the result? Where did I go wrong? :( Is this the work of the devil trying to put me down? Like come on, I am already doing very good in 2nd grading, but why does it have to go down?! Why did God let this happen? He is the only One who knows. I just hope that everything would be alright and that He would be able to fix it.

I can hardly smile thinking about tomorrow. Now you know how an honor rank and grades could be a big deal to me. Is there anyone who's also like me?

By the way, it's good that I'm not feeling like cursing right now, because I know that God is within me already, unlike these past few weeks that I had a bad outlook in life and tend to curse like never before. I thank the Retreat for that.

That's it for now, thanks for reading and viewing! :D

Love vs. Like

Hey everyone! :D I'm back! :) I just wanted to share some things to you which kinda decoded some mysteries of my feelings. xD

So, here are some differences between loving and liking a person :)

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster.

But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.

But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.

But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.

But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.

But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.

But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you love.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye.

But the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all

you need to do is cover your ears.

But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a

drop of tear and remains in your heart forever ...

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_between_liking_someone_having_a_crush_and_love#ixzz1o3d1veOC

I'm starting to understand about how I'm feeling already! Thanks to this! :)

Then, here's a song that I could really relate. xD

That's all, kthnxbye. ^^,

Going Crazy

Hello everyone! How are you all doing? Me, I'm doing fine. I'm sorry about the previous post that I wrote that I sound like a terrible person already, it's just that I couldn't avoid falling out of love. Yes, that's what I asked for from God (to fall out of love soon), but not at the wrong time. Well, I don't know if this is the wrong time, so, I'm confused. Please help. I don't want to hurt him, considering the fact that it is evident that he is madly in love with me. I gotta admit, I'm scared of him already since he's getting too clingy, an annoying action of his that my eyes finally opened up to now that I don't see him as "more than a GUY BEST friend" anymore. Why does it have to be this way? I don't ever wanna be seen as some heartbreaker b*tch. Please, I hope things will get better. I need advice.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I wanna tell you about what and where I had been this day. So, here it goes.

I woke up at around 3:30am, took my breakfast, took a bath, got ready, and wow, I was so early when I arrived in the place we agreed on meeting at. My father brought me there, then yes, our teacher was already there waiting. It took another 30 minutes waiting for our other companions to come. After everyone was complete, we finally went straight to Iligan City, then I bade my father and brother goodbye. 

You might be asking why we're going to Iligan in the first place. Well, we went there for an inter-school contest, which is called the Physics Brain Tournament. How were we doing? We almost got through the next round. But even though we didn't make it, at least we almost did, and that's already a big achievement for me. I could say that we're actually getting good at the contests we join. Too bad it was our last, but we made the most of it.

I also met my guy friend's past crush! haha :D I was so happy that I took the courage to get to know her. xD She's kinda friendly though.

Unexpected things happened back there. I never knew Iligan was that far from Cagayan de Oro City. I mean, it took more than an hour for us to travel there even though our driver, who's a parent of my fellow participant of the said contest, drove very fast. Then, we didn't expect that the program would start late. LOL. I also didn't expect seeing someone who looks so much alike with my past crush. xD He also moves and walks like him. wtf? hahah. But he's more good-looking than my past crush though. I didn't expect seeing my guy friend's past crush out there as well. It's good that I was able to recognize her though. It's like all my plans went out well today! And, last but not the least, we went to Maria Christina Falls, which is beyond my expectation, and that's also one of my long time wishes ever since I knew about it, then it came true!

Well, despite all these, I could still say that Cagayan de Oro City is indeed the best place I've been in so far. :) I missed it so much! Glad I was finally home.

Here are some of the pictures my friend uploaded while we were at Maria Christina Falls (Nature Park):

Ze cave ~

Me with my fellow participants and our coach who also looks like one of us. :p haha

We look like we're peeing xD

Posing at the Maria Christina Falls :)

Posing on the big rock :D

The pictures when we were at MSU-IIT (the university we went to for the contest) are not yet uploaded, so I'll just show you those pictures. :))

Actually, I also took pictures of my own but I'm not confident with the quality, so better not upload. LOLjk

Therefore, we could conclude that we really enjoyed our trip, even though it was tiring. ^^,

That's it for now. I hope to solve my love life once and for all and have more of travelling experiences soon! :D

I Just Don't Love You No More

Neeh, don't mind the title. That's just a song I'm currently listening to while I'm writing this blog post. I thought I should write one now to keep this blog updated.

Anyway, the title-slash-song I'm writing about and listening to right now has something to do with what I'm feeling towards someone. I'm talking about that guy friend I kept sharing experiences with to you. Yes, the sad truth is that my "feelings" for him are fading already. Hmm, should I feel glad because he would no longer interfere inside my mind anymore or should I feel sad because he truly loves me and that I wasn't able to return the same feelings to him? xD

The funny thing about me is that no matter how a boy convinces me that he really loves me is that I never really believe it. LOL. No offense but, I still think love is overrated and that my passion for my studies will always remain. I know I'm harsh, but that's all I can say now. I guess I could say I'm not in love like I was months or years ago.

I don't know if I'm just confused or I'm really not that in love anymore. I couldn't say that my feelings are ON and OFF right now since it's been off for quite some time already. So yes, I've somewhat fallen out of love.

But then again, I'd still hold on. Maybe, just maybe, the spark of feelings would come back. I just hope that it would come back at the right time.

You know what's another bad thing? I'm starting to gain back feelings for someone, which I'm trying to stop right now to keep my conscience clear (say what?).

I don't want to dedicate this song to that guy friend though because it will just hurt him, IF and only if he truly loves me (CORNY ALERT! hahah).

Here's the song, in case you don't know:

Goodbye lovey dovey feelings of mine! -__-

Now healed from the love bug bite. xD

Yeah, yeah, it's my fault that I'll be hurting him soon. I'm terrible indeed.

But then again, we're not a couple (yet) so, it would hurt less, I think? But he's too serious with me already (*gulp*), what am I gonna do? Well, I should just let him move on, if I get to let him read this.

Back to studying to the max, making the medals and awards my inspirations instead. ^^,

Anyway, I'll be going to Iligan tomorrow! :D It would be my first time leaving Misamis Oriental, and I'm really excited seeing something new! What a way to make 2012 memorable! Thank you God for making my wish come true!

I wanna take pictures there! :)) If only I can.

That's it for now, thanks for reading.

It's March! :D

And it got me thinking that there's only 29 days to go before I graduate from high school (our graduation day would be on the 30th of March btw)! Well, this was one day that's unlike any other. xD I'll tell you why.

The weather kinda changed thrice today. From very cold weather during the dawn, windy during the afternoon, then during class dismissal it was very bright and sunny like we could just squint our eyes when we overlooked our surroundings. But overall, I like how the weather went today. haha .. All the weather changes I love, gathered in one day. Plus, we saw a beautiful, perfect sunset. It had shades of red, orange, yellow, and purple. It was my first time seeing a sunset like that though, that's why I was pretty ignorant. LOL

Anyway, I discovered that I'm really not much of a morning person after all. You know why? I didn't feel that energetic this morning because I was feeling tired since I didn't have enough rest (talk about extensive reviews for the upcoming Physics Brain Tournament and the Calculus assignment I stayed up late for yesterday, then the cold weather during the dawn that made me wanna sleep some more). The endless questions from my classmates regarding the Calculus assignment (we could imply that their motto is "Due tomorrow, do tomorrow", which I got from a classmate since he wrote it on the board) also contributed to my tiredness, so screw them (LOL, just kidding. Peace ya'll classmates who read this xD). Then here comes my guy friend who wasn't really able to understand my condition, and he told me that since I was too busy achieving success, I was able to forget taking care of my health. He didn't really understand that I was just so tired. -___- Tiredness and health; do they directly relate to each other?

Then during Accounting class, I was so proud of myself since I was able to get the hang in journalizing transactions and that I did it right for the nth time. College Accounting, I'm ready for you, .. sort of. :p

And yes, me and my 2 fellow contestants were supposed to be excused from classes for our review but we chose to attend classes for the sake of not missing some activities I think? We reviewed after dismissal period anyway so, that's fine, we still reviewed just like what our teacher told us to do.

Then here comes Calculus class, the time of checking the assignment I worked hard for yesterday, and the others worked hard on today (haha). It was good that I got a high score, unlike yesterday that I got a score that didn't satisfy me that much. I thank God for that. :)

But one thing I hope would never happen, happened today. Me and my guy friend fought .. err .. not fought but .. we sort of had an argument because he was so jealous since I kept mentioning my past crush to him. Yes, we're not even in a relationship, but he already acts like we are, which pisses me off sometimes. I see him only as a "guy best-friend" this time, not to sound harsh or anything, but that's reality. If he would be able to read this, I hope he understands, since to tell you the truth, he already thinks that I am "the one" for him and we're meant to be together, and he will be courting me soon (CORNY ALERT! hahah). So, going back, he just doesn't understand how I missed the feeling of kilig when it comes to my past crush and I only reminisced that and talked about it to him, then he became jealous. Okay, I know I also have some fault on this since I already know this guy's feelings for me but I still talked about other guys to him. xD I'm a terrible person. 

So, yeah, he kinda spilled my "untold secret" to my past crush (I don't know whether he is still my past, or is he becoming my present already?). Well, it's good that my past crush dealt with the situation calmly considering the fact that I was nearby when he and my guy friend talked about supposedly-how-much I like him. My heart literally skipped a beat out of nervousness because I was hoping nothing worse would happen. Well, it was good that my past crush does see me as somebody (hahah), I mean, he sees me as a friend. Even though he does not see me as a "potential girlfriend" or something, but still, I am happy that he sees me as a friend since a friend is always special to someone. He even told me he loves me (awww) as a friend. LOL. Mr. Past Crush said it like, "I love you Van!", then he later on added ".. as a friend". It all started when I helped him with the assignment by the way. :p Anyway, my guy friend was very hurt with what I've done, but later on we're in good terms, and I don't know exactly why and how it happened. (o.O)

Afternoon was just normal, except for the fact that it was windy, bright and sunny like it was morning. xD

Well, this was surely a good start of March, I think? ahaha .

That's it for now, thanks for reading! :)