I Just Don't Love You No More

Neeh, don't mind the title. That's just a song I'm currently listening to while I'm writing this blog post. I thought I should write one now to keep this blog updated.

Anyway, the title-slash-song I'm writing about and listening to right now has something to do with what I'm feeling towards someone. I'm talking about that guy friend I kept sharing experiences with to you. Yes, the sad truth is that my "feelings" for him are fading already. Hmm, should I feel glad because he would no longer interfere inside my mind anymore or should I feel sad because he truly loves me and that I wasn't able to return the same feelings to him? xD

The funny thing about me is that no matter how a boy convinces me that he really loves me is that I never really believe it. LOL. No offense but, I still think love is overrated and that my passion for my studies will always remain. I know I'm harsh, but that's all I can say now. I guess I could say I'm not in love like I was months or years ago.

I don't know if I'm just confused or I'm really not that in love anymore. I couldn't say that my feelings are ON and OFF right now since it's been off for quite some time already. So yes, I've somewhat fallen out of love.

But then again, I'd still hold on. Maybe, just maybe, the spark of feelings would come back. I just hope that it would come back at the right time.

You know what's another bad thing? I'm starting to gain back feelings for someone, which I'm trying to stop right now to keep my conscience clear (say what?).

I don't want to dedicate this song to that guy friend though because it will just hurt him, IF and only if he truly loves me (CORNY ALERT! hahah).

Here's the song, in case you don't know:

Goodbye lovey dovey feelings of mine! -__-

Now healed from the love bug bite. xD

Yeah, yeah, it's my fault that I'll be hurting him soon. I'm terrible indeed.

But then again, we're not a couple (yet) so, it would hurt less, I think? But he's too serious with me already (*gulp*), what am I gonna do? Well, I should just let him move on, if I get to let him read this.

Back to studying to the max, making the medals and awards my inspirations instead. ^^,

Anyway, I'll be going to Iligan tomorrow! :D It would be my first time leaving Misamis Oriental, and I'm really excited seeing something new! What a way to make 2012 memorable! Thank you God for making my wish come true!

I wanna take pictures there! :)) If only I can.

That's it for now, thanks for reading.

It's March! :D

And it got me thinking that there's only 29 days to go before I graduate from high school (our graduation day would be on the 30th of March btw)! Well, this was one day that's unlike any other. xD I'll tell you why.

The weather kinda changed thrice today. From very cold weather during the dawn, windy during the afternoon, then during class dismissal it was very bright and sunny like we could just squint our eyes when we overlooked our surroundings. But overall, I like how the weather went today. haha .. All the weather changes I love, gathered in one day. Plus, we saw a beautiful, perfect sunset. It had shades of red, orange, yellow, and purple. It was my first time seeing a sunset like that though, that's why I was pretty ignorant. LOL

Anyway, I discovered that I'm really not much of a morning person after all. You know why? I didn't feel that energetic this morning because I was feeling tired since I didn't have enough rest (talk about extensive reviews for the upcoming Physics Brain Tournament and the Calculus assignment I stayed up late for yesterday, then the cold weather during the dawn that made me wanna sleep some more). The endless questions from my classmates regarding the Calculus assignment (we could imply that their motto is "Due tomorrow, do tomorrow", which I got from a classmate since he wrote it on the board) also contributed to my tiredness, so screw them (LOL, just kidding. Peace ya'll classmates who read this xD). Then here comes my guy friend who wasn't really able to understand my condition, and he told me that since I was too busy achieving success, I was able to forget taking care of my health. He didn't really understand that I was just so tired. -___- Tiredness and health; do they directly relate to each other?

Then during Accounting class, I was so proud of myself since I was able to get the hang in journalizing transactions and that I did it right for the nth time. College Accounting, I'm ready for you, .. sort of. :p

And yes, me and my 2 fellow contestants were supposed to be excused from classes for our review but we chose to attend classes for the sake of not missing some activities I think? We reviewed after dismissal period anyway so, that's fine, we still reviewed just like what our teacher told us to do.

Then here comes Calculus class, the time of checking the assignment I worked hard for yesterday, and the others worked hard on today (haha). It was good that I got a high score, unlike yesterday that I got a score that didn't satisfy me that much. I thank God for that. :)

But one thing I hope would never happen, happened today. Me and my guy friend fought .. err .. not fought but .. we sort of had an argument because he was so jealous since I kept mentioning my past crush to him. Yes, we're not even in a relationship, but he already acts like we are, which pisses me off sometimes. I see him only as a "guy best-friend" this time, not to sound harsh or anything, but that's reality. If he would be able to read this, I hope he understands, since to tell you the truth, he already thinks that I am "the one" for him and we're meant to be together, and he will be courting me soon (CORNY ALERT! hahah). So, going back, he just doesn't understand how I missed the feeling of kilig when it comes to my past crush and I only reminisced that and talked about it to him, then he became jealous. Okay, I know I also have some fault on this since I already know this guy's feelings for me but I still talked about other guys to him. xD I'm a terrible person. 

So, yeah, he kinda spilled my "untold secret" to my past crush (I don't know whether he is still my past, or is he becoming my present already?). Well, it's good that my past crush dealt with the situation calmly considering the fact that I was nearby when he and my guy friend talked about supposedly-how-much I like him. My heart literally skipped a beat out of nervousness because I was hoping nothing worse would happen. Well, it was good that my past crush does see me as somebody (hahah), I mean, he sees me as a friend. Even though he does not see me as a "potential girlfriend" or something, but still, I am happy that he sees me as a friend since a friend is always special to someone. He even told me he loves me (awww) as a friend. LOL. Mr. Past Crush said it like, "I love you Van!", then he later on added ".. as a friend". It all started when I helped him with the assignment by the way. :p Anyway, my guy friend was very hurt with what I've done, but later on we're in good terms, and I don't know exactly why and how it happened. (o.O)

Afternoon was just normal, except for the fact that it was windy, bright and sunny like it was morning. xD

Well, this was surely a good start of March, I think? ahaha .

That's it for now, thanks for reading! :)